I started my treatment for binge eating disorder last Thursday, so far I have had two intensive outpatient sessions, I have another one this evening. The program runs for a minimum of six weeks and is three days a week, three hours a day. Already I can tell that going through this program is going to change my life tremendously, we practice mindful eating, learn to develop fullness and hunger ques, and talk about body image, exercise, and nutrition. On Tuesdays and Thursday, we have dinner during the program, we bring our dinner and you also have to bring in one of your trigger foods, one that you binge on. In the program you learn that there are no such things as good and bad foods. The mindset that there are good and bad foods is what gets many people with binge eating disorders (BED) in trouble in the first place. We tend to overindulge/binge with the bad food because we think that we can never have it again since it’s a bad food and get in as much as we can/have of it. Then comes the guilt and shame that you had that food and so much of it. Treatment teaches you to not think of those bad foods as bad and that it is okay to have that “bad food.” You learn to appreciate it and are satisfied with just one. Eating normalizes and you have a healthy eating pattern. On Saturdays we have a mindful snack and learn to appreciate food bite for bite.
As I have begun treatment for BED I am realizing that bariatric surgery made my binge eating worse. There are what everyone considered good and bad in bariatric surgery. For someone like me with untreated binge eating disorder that can be detrimental to my success. If I could go back and change the past I would have tried to seek treatment before having surgery, however binge eating treatment wasn’t available then, it just became a diagnosis-able disorder in the DSM V this year, the program I am in is one of a few in the US. Do I regret my surgeries, no, but this is why I have shifted my blog in a new direction. This is about being the best I can be and sharing about my life in general. Those who have had WLS may think I’m crazy and possibly a failure, but WLS has not helped me as much as a normal person as my disordered eating still continued. I take full responsibility for not losing as much weight as others but it is hard with your mind was never truly fixed. But after this treatment I feel like this will possibly the first time that I am completely happy with myself and that I am actually fixing the problem instead of covering it up.